Fetch?

ME:        You know, Silver, I took you to the dog park today to play fetch.

SILVER: Yes. And I had a blast!

ME:        What? You didn’t do anything. I threw the ball as far as I could…

SILVER: Yeah. Which isn’t very far, Tom Brady.

ME:        … but instead of going after it, you just sat there. Or you walked around sniffing.

SILVER: Right.

ME:        So I would have to go get the ball myself while you did nothing.

SILVER: Right. So in other words…

ME:        In other words, instead of playing fetch, you just sat there and watched me chase after a ball and bring it back to you over and over …

(Staring to sink in)

ME:        … again.

(Moment when I realize I have once again been played by Silver)

ME:        You’re such a jerk.

SILVER: Let’s play again tomorrow!

Wake up!!

ME:        Silver, guess what time it is?

SILVER: Um, after midnight actually. Why did you wake me?

ME:        Because it’s time for …. BAD JOKE DOGGY DAD!!!

SILVER:    … okay.

ME:        How do you get two whales in a car?

SILVER: I don’t know. How?

ME:        You start in England and drive west!

SILVER: (LONG PAUSE) Go to sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.

Tell me now

ME:        Silver, do you have to tell me something?

SILVER: Like what?

ME:        Do you have to do anything?

SILVER: I don’t think so.

ME:        Because if you don’t have to do anything right now, I am going to lie down on the couch.

SILVER: Good. You deserve your rest.

ME:        I’m going to crawl under this blanket. Are you sure you don’t need anything?

SILVER: Nope. Get cozy.

ME:        I’m going to turn on the TV. Are you sure you don’t need anything?

SILVER: Absolutely not. I think baseball is on soon.

ME:        It sure is. And you are okay?

SILVER: Yep. Enjoy the game.

ME:        Great. I’m just going to relax and enjoy the ga…

SILVER: Get my leash. I have to pee.

ME:        SILVER!

SILVER: Sorry, but you didn’t ask!