Screen Test

SILVER: So, pop. What’s that thing over there called?

ME:        (Sigh) A screen door. Look, Silver, I’m really sor…

SILVER: Screen door. Like a door, But …. different.

ME:        Yes.

SILVER: For example, can air get through it?

ME:        Yes.

SILVER: Can water get through it?

ME:        Listen, Silver. I can not fully express…

SILVER: Just answer the question.

ME:        Yes, water can get through it.

SILVER: Aaah. But could say, a 65-pound husky, who was on the patio when his dumbass pop closed the door before checking to see if he was inside, get through it? Take your time.

ME:        No, it could not.

SILVER: I see. So said husky will now sit in the rain until his pop notices that he is not in the condo. For almost half an hour. Which is what happened here.

ME:        I am so sorry. Please forgive me.

SILVER: Whatever. I’m going to lie down on your bed.

ME:        Silver, please don’t. You’re soaking wet.

SILVER: Exactly. Which is why I AM GOING TO LIE DOWN ON YOUR BED!!!!!!!!

Counting

SILVER: So, pop. I've been counting, Just listen to these numbers I came up with

ME:        Numbers? Okay, shoot.

SILVER: Three times on The BLT Trail. Thirty-two times on the COLTA Trail. Four times on the Mainland Linear Trail:

ME:        I’m impressed… I think.

SILVER: The Dog Park? Well over 100.

ME:        100? Wow. Again, I think.

SILVER: Two times on the Walk Around First Lake. Six times on the Bayers Lake Trail.  Twelve times on the Salt Marsh Trail. I lost track at 50 times while going through the Tim Horton’s Drive Thru...

ME:        And these numbers refer to …

SILVER: The number of times people stopped us and said “Wow! What a beautiful dog”!

ME:        You counted. That’s impressive by itself.

SILVER: Yeah. And this is the number of times people stopped us and said “Wow! What a handsome doggy dad!”

ME:        You really don’t have to te …

SILVER: Zero on the BLT Trail. Not once on the COLTA Trail. Never on the Mainland Linear Trail.

ME:        I get it.

SILVER Never on the Bayers Lake Trail.

ME:        That’s enough, Silv…

SILVER: A big ol’ goose egg on the Salt Marsh Trail. Bupkis at the Drive thru….

ME:        Yer killin’ me.