Please move!

ME:        Silver, please move.

SILVER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ME:        There’s enough room on the couch for both of us.

SILVER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ME:        I know you’re awake. You twitch when you sleep.

SILVER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ME:         Hey! Look out the window. There are a bunch of cats.

SILVER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz how nice Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ME:        Yea, with a bunch of mice riding on their backs

SILVER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  Interesting Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ME:       And they all are carrying steaks!

SILVER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Something you don’t see every day Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ME:        (Sigh) fine, I’ll sit on the floor.

SILVER: Hey, maybe you can go keep the cats and mice company

ME:        Gee thanks.

SILVER: No problem Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Whole new year, whole new Silver

ME:        Silver, did you make a New Year’s Resolution for 2017?

SILVER: Yes! I promise to be good to all living creatures!

ME:        Really? Well that’s just great.

SILVER: Except cats. Because, you know, cats.

ME:        That’s fine.

SILVER: Mice and rats, too.

ME:        That’s … yeah, sure.

SILVER: And I’ll be cool with dogs. Unless they get angry at me for trying to hump them.

ME:        We REALLY have to talk about th…

SILVER: Squirrels. Rabbits. Foxes. Chipmunks. Deer. Nothing’s going to change there.

ME:        Of course it won’t.

SILVER: Come to think of it, there were some animals I saw on that Discovery Channel show you had on that seemed to have serious ‘tude, dude. Seriously. If I EVER catch a freaking wallaby within a thousand miles of here, I will kick it’s a…

ME:        SILVER!

SILVER: Fine. (Holding up his paw) In 2017, I vow to be a dog. A regular dog.

ME:        Well, …. Good luck with that.